-  Known for cloak-swishing, dramatic entrances, and questionable management of Death Eaters.

- Deeply misunderstood - I will always politely thank you for your time, even if you did not volunteer as a test subject for my Curiatus practice runs.

- Also, Horcruxes aren’t hobbies — they’re a lifestyle choice.

- A reliable barber (my next Horcrux may just be a hairbrush - you know, priorities…)

- Death Eater vacancies available. Must enjoy group activities, chanting, and occasional torture. Inquire within.

- Bonus if you enjoy cooking and won’t mock my kitchen experiments.